A genie grants you a conditional wish. You can have one superpower, but it has to be a little bit lame. Your super power must be something useful or neat, but if you showed up to a superheroes summit, you’d feel like a douche.
1. The power to access Google at all times, wirelessly, from your head.
2. The power (and joy) of having an infinite bladder
3. The power to get over colds faster — you’re still susceptable to catching a cold, but you recover slightly faster than the average human.
4. The power to walk super fast, at the pace most people run.
5. The power to jaywalk and never get caught.
6. The power to accurately estimate the quantity of liquid in a glass.
7. The power to fly, but only when inside the cabin of an airplane.
8. The power to prevent anyone from outbidding you on eBay.
9. The power to retract your hair into your head at will.
10. The power to see exactly where other people are when you’re waiting for them to turn up.
11. The hidden knowledge of the rainforest, including the unique healing powers of the forest’s plants.
12. The ability to always pull out exact change on first attempt when I’m buying something.
13. The ability to be able to see right through a fish.
14. The ability to give someone a hemorrhoid by simply snapping your fingers.
15. To power to hear the difference between Flac and V0.
16. The power to tell anyone what color underwear they’re wearing.
17. The power to travel in time but only five seconds forward every 24 hours.
18. You are beard man, and can now grow hair at will!
19. The power to ensure a peanut butter and jelly toast lands on the correct side when dropped by accident on the floor.
20. The ability to instantly evacuate your bowels whenever you’re feeling too full.
Submit your own lame super power by commenting below!