Funniest Google Search ‘Auto-Complete’ Recommendations
Bird are dinosaurs? Yes. Little tiny ones, that fly.
Birds are weird? Well yes, don’t you find little tiny flying dinosaurs a bit weird?
Do midgets have night vision? Only ones who don’t wear glasses.
Do midgets go to jail? No. They are immune from jail and have a license to kill issued by Jesus.
Do midgets have small (or big) willies? Neither; they have three legs.
(Definition) Bi-polar is: good president, idiot, great president, moron, best president, worst president… or just a criminal, depressed, alient antrichrist?
How come when i talk to girls on facebook they don’t answer me back? I don’t know…
How do you feel when you get pregnant? Large? Bloated? Fat? Gassy?
How do I get my siser to shut up and sleep with me?
How do you insert a tampon? Carefully. The nuva ring? Even more carefully; it’s bendy.
Noah lennos aka ‘Panda Bear’ spent 1.5 year in prison for shooting a 12 year old in the face. Aww, but Pandas are cute.
Palin offered a bounty of 150 for each left front leg of freshly killed wolves. No wonder she had enough money to resign from office.
Share my wife with another woman? Only if her name is Sasha or Debbie.
Share my wife with me? Metaphysical wife sharing?
Where does the vice president live? In the slightly less white house next door.
Where do babies come from? The stork.
Where do penguins live? With the vice president.
Where does miley cyrus live? (Perverts)
Where do Jon and Kate live? Near Christ and Sarah.
Where do you insert a/the tampon? Well, it’s a logical question after “How?” isn’t it?
Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Good question.
Why do black people have big lips, say Aks, have nappy hair, have white hands, love fried chicken, like watermelon, have white palms, smell, say ax inxtead of ask, like chicken.
Why do men have nipples? The same reason men cheat and dogs eat grass.
Why does my eye twitch. Because it itches?
Why does asparagus make urine smell? It doesn’t. Go to the doctor. Quickly.
Why does poop float? It doesn’t. Go to the doctor. Immediately.
Why are there school? So all are children is learning.
Why are there so many songs about rainbows? Rainbows are pretty.
Why are there so many ostriches? To bring all the babies after the rainbows die.
Very, very carefully.
Kanye West is an idiot, douche, racist, asshole, crazy nigga, douchebag, jerk, joke, arrogant snob?
Kanye West can haz cheeseburger? No. Go sit in the corner.
Muslims who want to live under Islamic sharia law were told on wednesday to get out of australia.
… they were no longer wanted in Tittybong, Australia.
… and Beaver Head, Idaho said no.
… so they’re moving directly to the Confederated States of Micronesia
The president has nothing better to do? Well, I don’t either.
President Obama calls kanye a jackass. I mean, what else would he call him? A stimulus package?
I like to
I like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur.
I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger