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Orgies: The festival you missed
by Michael Giardina

A sweet Saturday sun rose over the city of Davis, caressing the land's delicate soil with the peaceful warmth of the beloved Creator while children woke excited in their beds, an unexplainable comfort swelling in their hearts. The Whole Earth Festival - it only happens once a year.

Tired businessmen woke without fear of failure while mothers prepared to breastfeed their little ones under the arboretum flora. Young nubile men and women stripped off their constraining clothes, smiled at each other's naked forms and sipped dandelion wine until they broke into vigorous erotic dance.

With intricacy and precision, elderly, stone-like women began a fantastic drum circle. The grandmothers continued their intense swatting of rawhide, taking only quick breaks to smoke marijuana from a large hookah.

Did you miss it? Did you miss the Whole Earth Festival?

The whole dynamic was awe inspiring. There was no need for food peddlers. Farmers from all surrounding cities brought provisions from their gardens and fields, while those who did not provide victuals instead volunteered to cook. And all the food was seared over bonfires.

If only for a moment, it felt like the government fell to the ground. No longer was everyone toiling away like lemmings in our beloved Mexifornia, crying over the hard-earned cash that is pulled from our wallets to fund the production of missiles.

During the Whole Earth Festival, money became valueless and only compassion, care, empathy, understanding and respect drove society. At peace, we lived together as one energy, able - if only momentarily - to forget the constant, unyielding fear we accept.

And the overwhelming success of this event raises the simple question: Why don't we live like this every day?

Why don't we dance under the elms, beat drums in the forest while yelling at the moon, or break into orgies of passion at dawn to celebrate life, sex and death? If we can agree as a city to escape the everyday drudgery of life, where cameras sit on every street corner, why do we give in and return to daily life after the weekend?

In any event, let's be proud that the Whole Earth Festival has not degraded into a pop-consumerist event. And it could have. But we have fought that pressure.

It's not like food vendors are required to pay $800 for a booth, a $15 application fee, a $37 partial inspection fee, $55.68 insurance plan and $100 for a parking permit. No, that would just be gimmicky, right?

And it's not like Whole Earth Festival planners make up arbitrary rules to reduce waste for a day, only to watch everyone return to their wasteful ways the next day.

They don't close off trashcans with cardboard, or dress up rent-a-cops like hippies and call them something along the lines of the "Superwonderfunkin' Karma Patrol Tribe." No, in this kind of society, people govern themselves for the better of all.

You see, the Whole Earth Festival is an earnest reminder for all of us to step back, retreat from our "long war" and reclaim our rightful relationship to the ground - the dirt.

Just imagine how difficult it has been for the Whole Earth Festival to maintain its integrity. I mean, what if intrusive government officials forced all of those natural craft vendors to agree to a Terrorism Risk Insurance Act Notice Disclosure? Wouldn't that be ridiculous? I mean, planners didn't foresee a $10 billion terrorist attack, did they? No, of course not. (Maybe someone should check.)

Aren't you proud that the Whole Earth Festival is fighting back, standing up for what's right in this world? Aren't you thankful that out of 365 days, we still have three joyous ones when we can look back on our past, forego our shallow grasp of unnatural, pseudo-moral commandments to instead be true to ourselves and be one with nature?