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Childhood Rumors

September 19th, 2009 Posted in Uncategorized

Childhood Rumors

  • If you find an Indian shooting a star on your Tootsie Roll Pop wrapper, you win a million dollars
  • If you get seagulls to eat alka seltzer they will explode
  • Mountain Dew reduces sperm count and shrinks penis size
  • Sitting to close to the TV will cause blindness
  • Marilyn Manson had his ribs removed so he could suck his own penis
  • The guy from “Blues Clues” died of a drug overdose
  • Mr Rogers was a sniper in Vietnam
  • Lauryn Hill didn’t want white people listening to her music
  • Gene Simmons or Rod Stewart had their stomach pumped because they ingested too much semen
  • If you jump on to that impossible ledge, Lara Croft gets naked.
  • Ozzy threw puppies to his audience at a concert and refused to play until their dead bodies were thrown back onto the stage.
  • The “New Kids On The Block” were actually satan worshipers luring young girls away from Christianity.
  • Bubble Yum was made with spider eggs.
  • Looking directly at a microwave causes blindness.
  • Ocean water is salty from all the whale urine.
  • Pop Rocks and Coke will make your head (or stomach) explode.
  • If you swallow a watermelon seed, you’ll give birth to a watermelon.
  • Richard Gere had a gerbil surgically removed from his rear-end.
  • Sesame Street was going to announce that either Bert or Ernie had AIDS
  • Magic or Yu-Gi-Oh cards are printed with addictive ink
  • Coca-Cola still has cocaine in it.
  • If you get a wart, it grows roots in your skin and eventually strangles your brain and kills you.
  • Nerds Candy have broken glass in them.
  • Wearing a ball cap backwards will get you shot by gangs.
  • They put poison on the ice in supermarket displays.

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