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- If you find an Indian shooting a star on your Tootsie Roll Pop wrapper, you win a million dollars
- If you get seagulls to eat alka seltzer they will explode
- Mountain Dew reduces sperm count and shrinks penis size
- Sitting to close to the TV will cause blindness
- Marilyn Manson had his ribs removed so he could suck his own penis
- The guy from “Blues Clues” died of a drug overdose
- Mr Rogers was a sniper in Vietnam
- Lauryn Hill didn’t want white people listening to her music
- Gene Simmons or Rod Stewart had their stomach pumped because they ingested too much semen
- If you jump on to that impossible ledge, Lara Croft gets naked.
- Ozzy threw puppies to his audience at a concert and refused to play until their dead bodies were thrown back onto the stage.
- The “New Kids On The Block” were actually satan worshipers luring young girls away from Christianity.
- Bubble Yum was made with spider eggs.
- Looking directly at a microwave causes blindness.
- Ocean water is salty from all the whale urine.
- Pop Rocks and Coke will make your head (or stomach) explode.
- If you swallow a watermelon seed, you’ll give birth to a watermelon.
- Richard Gere had a gerbil surgically removed from his rear-end.
- Sesame Street was going to announce that either Bert or Ernie had AIDS
- Magic or Yu-Gi-Oh cards are printed with addictive ink
- Coca-Cola still has cocaine in it.
- If you get a wart, it grows roots in your skin and eventually strangles your brain and kills you.
- Nerds Candy have broken glass in them.
- Wearing a ball cap backwards will get you shot by gangs.
- They put poison on the ice in supermarket displays.
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