BY FRANÇOIS VINCENT

- – - -

1. loog a his lirow nose

2. there is some shit I will not eat

3. LISN bud LISN

4. this i bad sorry to saY

5. leave her alone
she’s not your gal

6. She is Lucifierian !

7. THuNdeRB
loSSo!M iN

8. aThe):l

9. stunned. i. am. stunned. every question speaks to us

10. What is nothing?

YouTube comment: 1, 4, 6, 9, 10
e. e. cummings: 2, 3, 5, 7, 8

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approximately. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later:

The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes:

A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:

A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:

The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:

He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities.

The questions raised:

*In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

*Do we stop to appreciate it?

*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made.

How many other things are we missing?

Data Backup: SyncBack
Network/Internet Usage Monitoring: Networx
Anti Virus: Avast or Avira
Firewall: Comodo
Video: Media Player Classic
Audio: Foobar2000/Media Monkey
Burning Program: ImgBurn
Web: Chrome or Firefox
Hardware Monitoring: Speedfan/CPUZ/Core Temp
CD Ripping: EAC
CD burning: EAC/Feurio!/Burrrn/ImgBurn
Text Editor: Notepad++ or Google Docs (for online)
Advanced Graphics control: PowerStrip
Lego: Lego Digital Designer
Anti Spyware: Spybot Search & Destroy
Audio Editor: Audacity
Archive tool: 7-zip
BEncode Editor: BEncode Editor (useful for .torrent files)
Vector Graphics Editor: Inkscape
Web Server Package: Xampp
Comics: CDisplay
Image Editor: GIMP
3D (Animation): Blender
Cue utility: CUE Tools
Office Suite: Open Office or Google Docs
Earth viewer: Google Earth/Nasa World Wind
Virtual Drive: Daemon Tools
Audio File Tagging: EasyTag
Torrenting: μTorrent
Bulk Image Resizer: Mihov’s Image Resizer
Automation: AutoIt
Media Centre: XBMC
Disk Encryption: TrueCrypt
DAP Firmware: Rbutil (for installing rockbox)
XP Power Toys: http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/downloads/powertoys/default.mspx
IRC client: Chatzilla (FF add on) or (mIRC if you don’t mind nagging)
IM Client: Pidgin or Google Talk

And God wept, I believe, was the next line.

• I’d remotely connect to her client.
• I’d forward and brute force her ports.
• I’d take it slow,  start by sniffing her packets.
• Would you maximize her bandwidth?
• I’d upgrade her to FiOS, by golly.
• I’d throttle her bandwidth.
• I’d unload my seedbox all over her.
• I would uncap her bandwidth.
• I’d allow her connection through my firewall.
• I’d upgrade my ram so she has more power to play with.
• I’d input my signal into her limiter.
• I’d steal her wifi.
• I’d overload her buffer
• I’d request a reseed.
• Im not braggin’ but she dragged her unused shortcuts into my desktop folder.
• I was checking out her registry.
• I’d activate her c2 pointers
• I could look at her GUI all day…
• I’d right-click on her shortcut… and explore.
• I’d keep it strictly textual.
• I’d rip her CD.  (In secure mode)
• She isn`t DRM free but I still bypassed her protection.
• I’d bump her thread.
• I’d fill her request and look at her snatch(es).
• I partitioned her harddrive, and now she can dual-boot windows and linux.
• I’d sniff out her back door and brute force in.
• I’d DDoS her server.
• I plan to tunnel her ports.
• I’d rub her start button.
• Id let her install her firmware on my 3.5″ floppy…
• I’d ping her IP.
• I’d check her logs.
• I’d… unzip her.
• I’d give her a trojan horse to slip in her back door…
• I’d insert my 3.5″ floppy into her disk drive
• I’d overclock THAT motherboard.
• I’d definitely call freeleech on that snatch
• I’d bounty up her request.
• I’d hit her front side bus at double data rate.
• I’d enter my password in her wrong field
• I’d defrag her hard drive.
• I’d integrate her function.
• I’d split her atom.
• I’d XSS exploit her input fields.
• I’d reticulate her splines
• I’d attach my file to her email.
• I’d refresh her inbox.
• I’d find the area under her curves.
• I’d plug in her variables.
• I’d be her tangent.
• Once I finish this snatch, I’m gonna whore out my seedbox
• I’d render her environment.
• I’d administrate her account.
• I’d add my printer to her control panel.
• I’d make a direct FTP connection with her (haha, get it? Unprotected…)
• I’d let her RAID my HARD DRIVES

• I’d shovel her driveway.
• I’d clean her gutters.
• I’d retile her bathroom.
• I’d untangle her christmas lights.

• I’d analyze her spectrals.
• I’d give her my stimulus package.
• I’d hack her Googles.
• I’d troll her forums.
• I’d mod her case.
• I’d rockbox her pod.
• I’d plug and play her.
• I’d install 8GB of Fully Buffered DIMM into her motherboard
• I’d find her molar mass and experiment with her formula

Peter Pan Peanut Butter

Pole Position

Cartoon Network Shaggy and Droopy

Orson Welles Drunk

Old Windows with Steve Ballmer

ATT You Will

Nicholas Cage Japanese Commercial

Flinstones Cigarette Commercial

Vegetarian Nightmare Chicken

Sexy Provocative Icecream

Computerman

1984 Apple Mac Commercial

Arnold Schwarzenegger Japanese Commercial

Girl’s Costume Warehouse

Wilkins Coffee 1

Wilkins Coffee 2

You bet your sweet aspercreme

Sylvester Stallone’s Ham

Magic Bullet

Head on

Banned Condom Commercials

Mom Said I could – Condoms

First Subaru Ads

Zippo Ad

Power Thirst!

Drop Bear

Banned XBOX Commercial

Nike Banned Commercial

Learn English Banned Commercial

Miller Light Twist Dance

Chia Obama TV Commercial

Bear and Salmon Fight

Early Green Giant

Don’t put it in your mouth

Black Herbal Toothpaste

Mr. W

War Amps PSA

Dos Equis on Rollerblading

Cigarettes are good for you!

Masterly Ham: Honest Ham: 1

Masterly Ham: Honest Ham: 2

Masterly Ham: Honest Ham: 3

Baby Pee Dol

• Take any self-help article on the internet.
• Use find/replace to switch any number of words to any other words.
• Post the results in the comments below and tell us which words you’ve exchanged.

Instantly Stop HER Negativity

Replaced MAN with WOMAN, HIM with HER(PROSTITUTE OR WHORE), HIS with HER, NOD YOUR HEAD with SLAP THAT HOE, and WE with US PIMPS. Here is the result:

Have you ever stood there while your prostitute went on and on about something you thought was silly, off the point, and made you see her as “weak” or watched your whore operate around the house, or on ‘dates’ in a way that confused and baffled or just plain upset you?

Or had her speak to you or do something that hurt you. Here you, the pimp, are asking, “WHY?” And all you want to do is bash her over the head until she comes to her senses and LISTENS to you? I think most of us pimps feel that way a lot of the time.

Us pimps KNOW we can do it BETTER. (Pimps usually can.)

Us pimps KNOW we can at least HELP her do it better. (Pimps always can.)

Us pimps KNOW if we can just explain it to her, if she’d just LISTEN – she’d understand and CHANGE.

And then us pimps open our mouth, offer our help or our suggestion, and her face turns red, she folds her arms in front of her chest, takes a step back, looks offended, and then either goes “ugh!” and walks away, or says something nasty to us?

Well, here’s a Tool that will cure that:

SLAP THAT HOE.

Okay, just with the title of this Tool, I sound like I want you to “humor” her. Or I want you to “defer” to her – whatever she says. But that’s not what I want you to do.

What SLAP THAT HOE will help you do is LISTEN TO her. Even if you don’t agree with her, even if you have opinions you’re chomping at the bit to speak up about – you can Listen To her. You can Listen, take in what she says, and follow this list of things to NOT do:

• You must NOT offer any opinions unless she asks – and even then make sure she’s really asking…
• You must NOT offer any suggestions unless she asks – and even then make sure she’s really asking…
• You must RESIST your burning desire to SPEAK at all until you get in touch with how you FEEL (in the list of what TO do).
• You must NOT move in any direction except backwards.

Now, here’s why SLAP THAT HOE works:

• SLAPPING THAT HOE gives you something to do while you’re deliberately NOT doing all those things in the list above that you would normally do in this situation.
• SLAPPING THAT HOE signals your body that you are TAKING in what she’s saying or doing.
• SLAPPING THAT HOE gives you a mowoment to breathe, a mowoment to work through Rori Raye Tools like the Dance Position that will get you in touch with how you feel.
• SLAPPING THAT HOE signals her that you are LISTENING to her.
• SLAPPING THAT HOE signals to her that you APPRECIATE her (you don’t have to AGREE with her to Appreciate her).
• SLAPPING THAT HOE almost instantly connects her to you in that mowoment.
• SLAPPING THAT HOE is a signal to YOUR body, and to her body that you APPROVE of her and of yourself. It’s a positive body language move.

Okay – lots of reasons to SLAP THAT HOE. The next step is to use a Feeling Message, so make sure you know how to do that – no matter WHAT’S happening at that exact moment.