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From the Something Awful Forums
PART ONE
An epiphany was had this morning as I perused SA, sipping Code Red and toying with the notion of stepping outside for my third cigarette in an hour: Nine years and 2 months of my life have been devoted towards the goal of personal advancement …
Childhood Rumors
If you find an Indian shooting a star on your Tootsie Roll Pop wrapper, you win a million dollars
If you get seagulls to eat alka seltzer they will explode
Mountain Dew reduces sperm count and shrinks penis size
Sitting to close to the TV will cause blindness
Marilyn Manson had his ribs …
Funniest Google Search ‘Auto-Complete’ Recommendations
Bird are dinosaurs? Yes. Little tiny ones, that fly.
Birds are weird? Well yes, don’t you find little tiny flying dinosaurs a bit weird?
Do midgets have night vision? Only ones who don’t wear glasses.
Do midgets go to …
How to Clean Toilet with a Cat
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the …
Trying to pull your kittens away from the television? Don’t mess with this creepy cat. Creepy cat stares at you when you disrupt his television watching. He is planning revenge. Run.
Evil the Cat is the manifestation of evil. He is trying to take over the …
When your thirsty, and your dirty… what do you do? Shower time, baby!
Woody style drinking and shower. Cute!
シャワーを浴びる猫です。見てみてください
Pets & Animals cat funny fun
…
Summarize your life in six words. Not on our list? Add it to the comments:
A series of ups and downs.
Birth–series of meaningless events–death.
Started badly, but improving over time.
Seen too much, waiting to die.
Who? What? When? Where? and WHY?
Hurry up, get anxious, wait forever.
Thought i was wrong; was right.
Bipolar, unmotivated, going …
Animals with ‘non-animal’ friends? Yes–Animals are lonely. They need friends to. Post pictures of animals who have found ‘non-animal’ friends.
Dove Loves GI Joe
Wrinkle Dog Hearts Wrinkle Toy
Firefox Dog Friends Wolfy
Which squirrel is which?…
Most Embarassing Question… you can ask a woman.
What do you mean, ‘is it in yet?’
Are you a girl?
Are you pregnant? (when not)
Did you just queef?
How often do you masturbate?
Is that my kid?
Did you notice chocolate pudding spots on your pants?
Are you being a bitch or is your period coming?
Where do …